


Why?

by RavennaWritesFanfiction



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 14:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16874853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavennaWritesFanfiction/pseuds/RavennaWritesFanfiction
Summary: Bucky didn’t feel like he deserved love after everything he had done, but then she showed up and looked past everything. She was absolutely perfect… too perfect. He knew HYDRA would want him back, but he underestimated just how far they would go the bring him back. But why did it have to be her?





	Why?

Meeting you was a dream he had never dared to dream. Meeting you was something that someone like Steve or Tony got to dream about, not someone like him. Bucky wasn’t looking for anyone and he certainly didn’t have you pegged as the kind who could love a killer. You were wicked smart and had an attitude that screamed confidence. The Avengers loved you despite the fact you were dating him. Steve adored you and loved you almost as much as Bucky did. You were the last person that anyone would expect.

You had been dating and living together for just over a year when you asked Bucky to go on a vacation with you. You were always traveling for work, but you insisted that he could use a break. Where better for the two of you to go together than Paris? He would do anything to see you smile. Knowing that he was the cause of that smile, well, it made him feel like he wasn’t completely a monster. After all, what monster could make something so innocent smile like that? But you weren’t so innocent, were you? Did you ever really love him?

All you could talk about for the week leading up to the trip was all the things you wanted to go do. Bucky would be damned if he didn’t want to do all of those things with you. Even things that sounded cheesy made him light up. He should have know that something was up the day you left for Paris. Suddenly, you weren’t excited anymore and you begged him to cancel the trip. He wouldn’t do it. 

The ride to the hotel was tense. Things had never been like that between you two. He should have known something was up. If anyone asks Bucky if he loved you; he would say with every fiber of his being, until the day he dies. No matter how many times someone asks him if he blames you, he always says no; he knows what they are like, and he refuses to believe that you were a willing participant.

 He should have noticed the men watching you two when you got out of the car, but he was only watching you. He should have felt uneasy about the guy behind the counter, but he was busy listening to you speaking French to the bellhop. He should have fought back when the guy grabbed him from behind, but he didn’t want you to get hurt. He should have been angry when the man called you by name, but he was defeated. 

These were HYDRA agents, he could see it now, but you were still his darling girlfriend, (Y/N). They threw a bag over his head and you escorted him out. Could you really be one of them? By the time you got to the van, he was crying, but you didn’t see his tears. He didn’t see yours. When you arrived at the stereotypical abandoned factory, you had changed your clothes, and for the first time, you looked the part of HYDRA agent. He still refused to believe. 

When you tased him, a fake smile plastered on your face, he knew it wasn’t real. He had seen your real smile. That wasn’t it. And when you helped them torture him for information, he could see how uncomfortable you were. He only ever thought about you.

 None of the physical abuse they put him through was anything compared to the sheer misery that fell over him when the boss walked in and asked you to step forward. You had succeeded in bringing in the asset. You were expecting a promotion, maybe to become his handler. What you got though, was a bullet right between the eyes. His chance to ask you if any of it was real, died with you. You fell on your side facing him. A little rivulet of blood ran down your face and into your eye. You were staring at him, and although he had seen many a dead stare, none were ever so gut-wrenchingly painful as yours.

Steve must have known something was up. He burst in not moments later. He had to step over your body to get to Bucky, but Bucky would go with him. He picked your body up, only then following Steve out. He paid to have you buried properly after Steve found out that you were from Brooklyn, you were laid to rest in the Irish portion of the cemetery. He still leaves flowers every Memorial Day for you. He doesn’t know if it was ever real, but it was to him and that’s all that mattered. Perhaps the worst thing HYDRA ever did to him, gave him you.

Steve never told him, because you made him promise not to, but you told Steve everything. You made him wait until after they had killed you, to save Bucky. You rather die than live with knowing what you had done to the man you truly did love. Tony couldn’t understand why Steve defended you. But Steve knew you were raised in HYDRA and you couldn’t stop it even if you tried. You were in too deep to ever escape. That’s why Steve listened to you and let them put a bullet in you. That was your choice, and no amount of running was ever going to set you free. Killing you meant Bucky could live, and Steve could live with that, and you died happy knowing Steve held up his end of the deal.

The Avengers don’t say your name anymore. They don’t know the whole story and Steve won’t tell. Bucky doesn’t even know it all. You are the villain of this story to them. Tony spent months redoing the security for the Avengers Compound. He believes that you told HYDRA everything you had seen. You hadn’t said a word. You had been happy living with them for the first time in your life; you would never betray them.


End file.
